The Maddening Crowd

19 03 2009

Have you ever felt like stick in the mud? Or do you understand the “meerkat” perspective when you are extending your neck above the crowd? Apply the “meerkat” view to Pride and Prejudice, when Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley, and Caroline Bingley first enter the ball in Hertfordshire. The entire crowd was facing them and Elizabeth Bennet was singled out in that camera angle.

That was my life last night. Everyone was dancing and lights were invigorating the crowd and the beats traveled from your feet into your heart. It was wasted on me. I should have sold my ticket. I just stood there to the point of exhaustion when I vanished and went home. Typical, really, I always pull a Houdini disappearing act. No sight, no sound, just exit. I had a low-key dinner over Mamacita’s fish taco and veggie taco with Ashley Sue over some tallboy Tecates. Basically, I sabotaged the plans that I had, the plans that were altered and plans that never were, to eat something I eat every week at a place that I always patron. Have a slice of the un-birthday cake! Some point in the night I let a ridiculous thought slip across my mind and wanted to reduce myself to tears. I didn’t break down. I was just absent from my setting. Vapid and vacant.

Today, is just a day. A transient day from now until tomorrow, from here until I’m home and when the salt air heals my soul and bandages my wounds. Each breath provides some sort of uplifting spirits to my present disposition.

Happy Birthday to me.

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Hump Day

18 03 2009

3.18 | 24 hours until my 24th year.  I am walking into it with a head held low, and shoulders slightly a kilter.

Today, I am working on crafting my pitch for the Memphis event next week. A look at Music Appreciation Month in Ken Greene’s classroom with an interactive demonstration of instructional technology in the music program. Then I must must must build a master list and mock-up for America’s Promise on March 30th!

STS9 is playing at The Orange Peel tonight and I have had my ticket since 12.17.2008! Talk about blast from the past! I’d be willing to sell it to Marisa if she can manage to sub her yoga class and drive up from Charleston. Otherwise, I wonder if it is worth it to go to a show when you aren’t in the festive mood? Perhaps, it’s better to not know what you are missing and build some anticipation for a stellar performance when my skies are clearer. Or maybe this will be the thing to snap me out of the funk.

I hate to close abruptly, but my thoughts are robbed by my to-do list and time-sensitive tasks that are flooding my head.